At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
