I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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