he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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