The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
