so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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