Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
