This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
