So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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