I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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