Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
