South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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