I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
