its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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