I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
