pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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