Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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