Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
