so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
