That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
