Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
