I must be too annoying 4 u.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
