Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
