that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
