alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
