We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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