genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
