i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
