you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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