you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
