she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
