maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
