i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
