They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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