I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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