I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
