This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
