Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it's like heaven, but drunker
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
