god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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