I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm just crazy horny about you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
