Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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