we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
