We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's shark week go big or go home
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
