Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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