How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
