ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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