the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
