He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
