honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
kristin has been a bad kristin
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
