Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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