that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
