I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
