Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
try to milk me bitch
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
