this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
